TheRumpledOne 6,411 posts msg #47947 - Ignore TheRumpledOne |
11/13/2006 12:46:29 PM
November 13, 2006
Everyone Is Fair Game
By Robert Ringer
Following are some miscellaneous excerpts from mostly one-star reviews (the worst rating possible) on Amazon.com that I extracted for this article.
Reviewer #1:
“Seven Ways to Waste a Day. There is not a single new idea in the whole book. If you don’t know already what is in this book, you are too stupid to understand it. The whole Covey program is an overpriced waste of time.”
Obviously referring to a book that didn’t make it in the marketplace, right? Not quite. How about the biggest-selling motivational book of all time, according to The New York Times! That’s right, it’s Steven Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Covey not only has built a career on this book, but a huge company to boot.
Reviewer #2:
“The only good news is the book has so little substance it took me only an hour to read it.”
Another loser, right? Hardly. The reviewer is referring to Swim with the Sharks Without Being Eaten Alive, listed by The New York Times as one of the biggest-selling motivational books of all time. Since writing this book, Harvey Mackay has written many other best-sellers and has gone on to become one of the highest-paid and in-demand speakers in the world.
Reviewer #3:
“At times, Kiyosaki himself reminds me of a presenter from Amway, Primerica, or some other MLM pyramid scheme ... With the constant plugging of his other products, Kiyosaki tries to hook readers into thinking that he knows the “secret” of being rich, and if you keep buying his stuff, eventually you’ll ‘discover’ it.”
You guessed it — it’s the landmark book Rich Dad, Poor Dad, which has sold millions of copies worldwide. Kiyosaki’s book is loaded with great ideas and, as a bonus, is cleverly written and enjoyable to read.
And on and on it goes. You can even find bad reader reviews for
Will Durant, Eric Hoffer, and many other literary giants. And as much as I know this will shock you, you can even find bad reader reviews for books written by (sigh) yours truly.
My favorite bad review for one of my books (can’t remember which one) is from a guy who said that what bothered him was that I was using my book as a platform for my own opinions. I’m not kidding. Someone actually wrote that.
Duhhh ... helloooo. The whole purpose of a self-development
book is for the author to convey
his opinions to the reader!
Don’t get me wrong. People have an absolute right to give their honest opinions about any book they read. I’ve certainly read many best-sellers that I didn’t like. It’s just a reminder that you can’t please everyone.
The small sampling of reviews I’ve shared with you graphically demonstrate that even the most successful among us not only get criticized, but are often disliked by huge numbers of people. Just imagine how hated super-successful people such as Bill Clinton, George Bush, Bill O’Reilly, and Rush Limbaugh are.
If you look at how they made it to the top, I think it’s fair to say that none of them would be there if they weren’t hated by millions of people. Why so? Because the other side of the hate coin is that there are millions of people who also love them. The only way I know to avoid the negative opinions of others is to say nothing, do nothing — and be nothing.
So, all this should be comforting to you. It’s a reminder that the criticism others sometimes aim your way, which occasionally includes slanderous and defamatory remarks, is part and parcel to the game of success. (And, I would argue, to the broader game of life.)
Making it to the top doesn’t make you less vulnerable to criticism; it makes you more so. I again point to Bill Clinton and George Bush as classic examples of this.
Remember, you cannot force people to like you or your work. You cannot even force them to stop saying bad things about you — unless you want to spend the rest of your life involved in lawsuits that require you to prove damages.
The sad reality is that human beings, to one extent or another, tend to be jealous of the success of others. Accept it and simply write it off as a fact of life. The only thing you have the power to change is how you react to criticism.
When someone tries to twist your words, change your meanings, or restate your intentions, you may instinctively feel like lashing out and defending yourself. There’s a natural inclination to want to prove to the world that what has been said about you is false. Unfortunately, once your emotions reach that point, the slanderer has won.
There is a great deal of bitterness in our world due to feelings of inadequacy, guilt, and failure, and the neurotic individual often feels that he can vent his frustration only by tearing down others. Don’t take the bait. If you want to drive your enemies crazy, ignore them!
It is within your power to ignore the criticism and ugly remarks of others. I find that the less you make of someone else’s criticisms, lies, or slanderous comments, the more quickly they tend to fade away.
Barry Bonds has chosen to carry a sour-grapes attitude and shift the blame (for his “unaware” use of steroids) to the media. Which is a total turnoff to sports fans and might even keep him out of the Hall of Fame on the first ballot.
By contrast, I will never forget how impressed I was when tabloid headlines were screaming that New York Mets catcher Mike Piazza was gay. Piazza did only one interview, and said to the interviewer in a calm, straightforward manner, “I’m not gay.” No anger, no hysteria, no scowl. As a result, the story died in a matter of days.
The reality is that you are going to be criticized — and sometimes slandered and lied about. So you shouldn’t let it throw you into a state of emotional turmoil when it occurs. Take heart by reminding yourself that it happens to high-profile people all the time.
The impact of a negative remark aimed at you will very much depend upon how you handle it. Your mindset should be that it’s no big deal — it’s just a part of life.
Which is fine, so long as you don’t allow it to become a major part of your life.
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